My writing has been getting hella deep lately. (hella, did I really just say that. Yes I did. Moving on.) It’s no secret I am swimming in one very introspective chapter of life, one of those growing stages. (does it ever stop? My mom says no.) This particular period of life involves an excavation of layers physical, mental, and emotional.
My words lately have been challenging words, raw and real words, the kind that hit us where it hurts.
But it’s important to remember: not all days are bad days. There may be moments of darkness, hours and weeks, but there is light, too, oh so much light seeping through the cracks I’m sealing around my tired body and soul. And you know what? It is time to give the light its fair chance to shine on these pages, too. So here we go:
Welcome to Wellness Trending, my new weekly (well, #goals weekly) series. As I recover from disordered eating habits, exercise addiction, the fallout to both of those and, well, all the other stuff I’ve been writing about lately, I’ve been getting curious. And I crave a space to really dig into this curiosity and talk it out with you all, because I know I am not alone in the quest for all the healthy things–
In need of an honestly messy, imperfectly-photographed smoothie bowl, sweaty post-workout-way, too.
I’ve thought for the most part, post-college and post-ED recovery, I was living a fairly healthy lifestyle. But as much as I was working out and sleeping and being (a little bit more) selective of my foods, I was failing to pause and really take note:
How does this make me feel? Why is this new crop of hormonal acne popping up, why am I always always tired, why are my cramps so bad and happening twice a month, why do I lose my shiz at the drop of a hat, why do I NEED sweets after every meal?
I was failing to take notice of truly how I was fueling my body and my days through nutrition–and I knew I needed a change. So I started researching. I started reading, listening to podcasts, shooting my (amazing I love her life saving) doctor near-daily emails, seeking out trends both old and new popping up like daisies in the concrete cracks, and finally started implementing.
Many trends I have adopted. (Whole30 and Bulletproof coffee to name two). Others I don’t think will ever be for me. And as I’ve taken a deeper look over the past few months, I realize I am seeing change. Big and small, inside and out. Physically, mentally, emotionally–changing.
I am finally at a place where I feel more solid in myself and in my body. I see its strengths, not its flaws, more and more in the mirror lately. Of course, I still struggle every day. Getting to this place took years of deep emotional work and healing.
I’m learning to let it go though, little by little. And in this process, I realize I would love to share a lot of that here, with you, and continue the conversation. Why? Because we all deserve to be confident in our skin. To glow. To feel SO GOOD. To have the energy to take on our days. To sleep soundly. Yes! We all deserve that.
My history runs long and deep. By exposing it more and more to the light, I hope to burn away the darkness and give you, or your friend or sister or cousin, permission to do the same. We are not alone in the struggle.
So I am starting from the inside out, and sharing my journey here. Keepin’ it real, and hopefully real helpful.
It’s true my friends–I have sipped from the SF health junkie water and raced toward the bandwagon. Move on over, perfect-smoothie-bowl-picture-taker, that’s my seat right there. And it’ll be a messy, fingers sticky ride, indeed. Let’s do this.
*disclaimer because we need it: I am not a health professional or expert (at all). Be aware of other blogs who claim they are. Always consult with your doc when you’re wanting to dig in and try something new. This blog is merely a space to explore various wellness trends and get real about body love. And remember, every BODY is different. Listen to yours! Woo!